Tuesday, March 09, 2004
Debating whether or not to move my blog over to livejournal.
http://www.livejournal.com/users/willybobo/
http://www.livejournal.com/users/willybobo/
Tuesday, March 02, 2004
ATTENTION TATTOO ARTISTS:
For the love of all that is sacred, please refuse any and all future cleavage jobs.
For the love of all that is sacred, please refuse any and all future cleavage jobs.
Last night, Average Joe: Hawaii revealed a twist in its final episode. After the broad picked her guy, she let him know that she used to date Fabio. Yes, Fabio, the romance novel coverboy and the only human to actually sport a horse's mane atop his head. Well, the guy who 'won' the girl's heart went ape-shit, dumping the chick on live television-on-tape.
WTF?!?! Dunno 'bout you, but finding out your new gal went out with Fabio is hardly something to get upset about. At least she wasn't a man who used to spot Fabio at the gym. C'mon, the guy's a joke.
Whatever, it's even more funny when you consider this is the second time a bird has shit on Fabio in the past few years. Poor Samson.
WTF?!?! Dunno 'bout you, but finding out your new gal went out with Fabio is hardly something to get upset about. At least she wasn't a man who used to spot Fabio at the gym. C'mon, the guy's a joke.
Whatever, it's even more funny when you consider this is the second time a bird has shit on Fabio in the past few years. Poor Samson.
Caught about 15 minutes of the newest Fox reality show called Eden somthing or other. Absolute disaster. This garbage heap makes Fox's Temptation Island look like a Ken Burns documentary.
This morning on my commute, I was forced to stare at an ad for FoxWoods Casino Resort. Know what I see? They have some sort of Native American Museum next to FoxWoods. Can't remember the name, but that's not important. Get this, the museum's tagline aka slogan was:
Our legacy is yours.
Uhh...no it isn't. That was the problem to begin with, wasn't it? I just don't get this. Is it supposed to make people feel guilty? Or does it just point to how easy it is to steal from Native Americans (especially when they insist)?
Our legacy is yours.
Uhh...no it isn't. That was the problem to begin with, wasn't it? I just don't get this. Is it supposed to make people feel guilty? Or does it just point to how easy it is to steal from Native Americans (especially when they insist)?
2 funny things people said to me yesterday:
1. I'm talking to this guy about films. A coworker overhears "Pulp Fiction" and asks whether we're discussing the company's profit-sharing plan.
2. I tell a buddy what I think of the Jesus film. He mentions how his girlfriend finally saw Braveheart. I say Jesus carries much more weight than some Scot. He says, "Yeah, about 400 lbs. more."
1. I'm talking to this guy about films. A coworker overhears "Pulp Fiction" and asks whether we're discussing the company's profit-sharing plan.
2. I tell a buddy what I think of the Jesus film. He mentions how his girlfriend finally saw Braveheart. I say Jesus carries much more weight than some Scot. He says, "Yeah, about 400 lbs. more."
Now where was I?
Aah yes, the Jesus film review.
All jokes aside, it was well-made. The acting was decent (Caviezel is much better in Count of Montecristo) but the real star of the show is the cinematography. Every scene looks straight out of the Bible, as it should.
I work with many Jewish people. The week before this movie opened, two of my more vocal Jew coworkers chatted with me about this film. Both were very scared about the ramifications should it do well at the box office. That it is anti-semitic seems to have been a given. I listened and joked with them as they hoped for a Weekend at Bernie's Part 3-type flick to open on the same weekend.
I don't exactly know if all the worrying and finger-pointing helps their cause. If anything, it brings more attention to the film.
From my seat, the Israelites do come off worst of all in the film. The Romans get off easy. They were scared of Caesar's reaction should another uprising occur. Plus, they gave the Jews several opportunities to save the man.
Hmm. I don't know how much of what's written in The Good Book is true, less sure how much of it made the journey onscreen. But if you're the villain in the story, you're the villain in the movie. So what's the biggie?
I don't recall Egyptians up in arms over their Pharoah being portrayed as such a bad man in Cecil B. Demille's The Ten Commandments. To be fair, I wasn't around at the time but you get my point. A more current example would be Germans protesting Schindler's List because their ancestors are not exactly coming off too well onscreen. Don't remember that at all.
Then again, it's a different world nowadays. And from what I hear, anti-semitism is rampant in Europe today. So maybe there is reason for concern.
Back to the film. I have seen Braveheart all of once. It is far too long for my tastes and the graphic violence isn't my cup of tea. Yet if I'm to suffer through gritty realistic pain and suffering, William Wallace doesn't hold a candle to Jesus of Nazareth. No offense Scots, but you understand. In this respect, the violence in the film is justified. It makes you feel every whiplash and visualize the sacrifice He made for us.
So you say, "Why's it have to be so graphic though?"
Well, this is tricky. It really doesn't have to be. BUT today's popcorn-loving movie-going public understands the language of sex and violence better than any other. The way I see it, Mel Gibson used the violence to get people in the theater.
Is that right? Tough one. On one hand, to Gibson, this is the most important story ever told. Whether it bothers the Jewish community matters little to him.
How responsible is it to release a film that may fuel anti-semitism? Well, most rational people who view this film are not going to go out and beat up Jews. Or even hold some resentment in the backs of their mind. Why? Because if they are church-going types, one of the main lessons Jesus teaches us is to love everyone, especially those who despise you. Let's just hope most people are rational-minded.
I was very dismayed at how many little children were at the screening I caught. It's Rated R so obviously many parents felt their kids should be exposed to this film. Dunno about that. I wouldn't. Unless they were older than knuckle-head age. And that's relative, based more on maturity than anything else.
On the violence, Gibson had two words to address critics. He said "Kill Bill" during his appearance on Jay Leno's Tonight Show. Here's where I totally disagree with Gibson.
First of all, Kill Bill sucked. That is a movie. Not a film.
Second of all, it's best scene is mindless violence. STYLIZED mindless violence. Like a videogame. Like a comic book. I'm not 100% sure about this so Gibson may be right. But from my POV, stylized violence is not as powerful as ultra-realistic violence.
Woops. I do agree with him. Just made the connection. See, the more stylized the violence, the cooler it is (to knuckleheads especially), and the more little Johnny wants to run home and recreate it. Think Matrix (Cool!) and Colombine.
By using ultra-realistic violence, Gibson makes people look away. He makes them cringe and cry. Not laugh or think ain't it cool!
I doubt anyone leaving The Passion of the Christ is rushing home to make a cat-o-nine-tails to aid in the pillaging of some village out there.
So the violence serves its purpose. And hopefully, the film will stir much more than a media blitz. Because let's face it. Many people, young kids especially, are not religious. In my church, it's babies, old people, the wife and me. Sad but true.
The sex scandals that rocked the Church doesn't help matters. And all the cool stylized violence available outside on a Sunday afternoon is hard to compete with. In the end, this film may do more to get young people in Church than any priest or Pope ever could. And that could be a good thing. Unless they're gay. Then they're not welcome. Joke. Sorry.
I'm glad many churches realize this and have taken things into their own hands. After many of the opening weekend's showings, several volunteers were handing out pamplets explaining more about the life of Jesus and where you could learn more. It was good old fashioned gorilla marketing for the Man (or Woman) Above. God Bless America.
Aah yes, the Jesus film review.
All jokes aside, it was well-made. The acting was decent (Caviezel is much better in Count of Montecristo) but the real star of the show is the cinematography. Every scene looks straight out of the Bible, as it should.
I work with many Jewish people. The week before this movie opened, two of my more vocal Jew coworkers chatted with me about this film. Both were very scared about the ramifications should it do well at the box office. That it is anti-semitic seems to have been a given. I listened and joked with them as they hoped for a Weekend at Bernie's Part 3-type flick to open on the same weekend.
I don't exactly know if all the worrying and finger-pointing helps their cause. If anything, it brings more attention to the film.
From my seat, the Israelites do come off worst of all in the film. The Romans get off easy. They were scared of Caesar's reaction should another uprising occur. Plus, they gave the Jews several opportunities to save the man.
Hmm. I don't know how much of what's written in The Good Book is true, less sure how much of it made the journey onscreen. But if you're the villain in the story, you're the villain in the movie. So what's the biggie?
I don't recall Egyptians up in arms over their Pharoah being portrayed as such a bad man in Cecil B. Demille's The Ten Commandments. To be fair, I wasn't around at the time but you get my point. A more current example would be Germans protesting Schindler's List because their ancestors are not exactly coming off too well onscreen. Don't remember that at all.
Then again, it's a different world nowadays. And from what I hear, anti-semitism is rampant in Europe today. So maybe there is reason for concern.
Back to the film. I have seen Braveheart all of once. It is far too long for my tastes and the graphic violence isn't my cup of tea. Yet if I'm to suffer through gritty realistic pain and suffering, William Wallace doesn't hold a candle to Jesus of Nazareth. No offense Scots, but you understand. In this respect, the violence in the film is justified. It makes you feel every whiplash and visualize the sacrifice He made for us.
So you say, "Why's it have to be so graphic though?"
Well, this is tricky. It really doesn't have to be. BUT today's popcorn-loving movie-going public understands the language of sex and violence better than any other. The way I see it, Mel Gibson used the violence to get people in the theater.
Is that right? Tough one. On one hand, to Gibson, this is the most important story ever told. Whether it bothers the Jewish community matters little to him.
How responsible is it to release a film that may fuel anti-semitism? Well, most rational people who view this film are not going to go out and beat up Jews. Or even hold some resentment in the backs of their mind. Why? Because if they are church-going types, one of the main lessons Jesus teaches us is to love everyone, especially those who despise you. Let's just hope most people are rational-minded.
I was very dismayed at how many little children were at the screening I caught. It's Rated R so obviously many parents felt their kids should be exposed to this film. Dunno about that. I wouldn't. Unless they were older than knuckle-head age. And that's relative, based more on maturity than anything else.
On the violence, Gibson had two words to address critics. He said "Kill Bill" during his appearance on Jay Leno's Tonight Show. Here's where I totally disagree with Gibson.
First of all, Kill Bill sucked. That is a movie. Not a film.
Second of all, it's best scene is mindless violence. STYLIZED mindless violence. Like a videogame. Like a comic book. I'm not 100% sure about this so Gibson may be right. But from my POV, stylized violence is not as powerful as ultra-realistic violence.
Woops. I do agree with him. Just made the connection. See, the more stylized the violence, the cooler it is (to knuckleheads especially), and the more little Johnny wants to run home and recreate it. Think Matrix (Cool!) and Colombine.
By using ultra-realistic violence, Gibson makes people look away. He makes them cringe and cry. Not laugh or think ain't it cool!
I doubt anyone leaving The Passion of the Christ is rushing home to make a cat-o-nine-tails to aid in the pillaging of some village out there.
So the violence serves its purpose. And hopefully, the film will stir much more than a media blitz. Because let's face it. Many people, young kids especially, are not religious. In my church, it's babies, old people, the wife and me. Sad but true.
The sex scandals that rocked the Church doesn't help matters. And all the cool stylized violence available outside on a Sunday afternoon is hard to compete with. In the end, this film may do more to get young people in Church than any priest or Pope ever could. And that could be a good thing. Unless they're gay. Then they're not welcome. Joke. Sorry.
I'm glad many churches realize this and have taken things into their own hands. After many of the opening weekend's showings, several volunteers were handing out pamplets explaining more about the life of Jesus and where you could learn more. It was good old fashioned gorilla marketing for the Man (or Woman) Above. God Bless America.
Monday, March 01, 2004
Over the weekend I watched The Passion of the Christ, or as it's oh-so-hip to say, Passion. Below are my observations, but first a few jokes:
--There's simply no way the audience can be expected to buy Jim Caviezel as Jesus. For one thing, he's guilty of having committed one of the worst sins around: He costarred in Angel Eyes with Jennifer Lopez.
--The Roman tag-team torturers looked an awful lot like the Bushwhackers of WWF fame. Oh, and the butcher at my local deli.
--I hear studio executives are planning a Life and Times of the Buddha starring Jackie Chan (Doing his own death-defying stunts, grasshopper!!) and directed by John Woo.
--I don't recall the Shroud of Turin being offered to Jesus by Sofia Coppolla, but who knows. Those darn revisionists.
--Not only did Wilt Chamberlain bed thousands of women, he also helped Jesus carry his cross. Who the hell was that guy? Billy Dee Williams?
--I know the criminals being crucified were dumb, but that one schmuck must have been deaf and dumb and as a result, blind. Who can't hear a crow cackling from two feet away?
--Gibson must hate dark, greasy hair as most of the criminals looked just like Judas and vice versa. Was there some sort of Judas Scumbag Villain Hair Club for Men? And if so, why wasn't Barabbas a member?
--Why does Satan's baby have vericose veins at such a tender age?
--The devil is no match for old school birkenstocks!
--Mary and evil incarnate were the same shade of More Grey Than Humanly Possible! Hmm...
--Judas is taunted by rare shape-shifting children. I swear to you, the local cineplex was filled with these little cretins making faces at every lash. Can't a guy watch some good old fashioned torture without cries and whimpers from the romper room set? What did they expect, Sunday School with Mr. Bill?
--Pontius Pilate has the strangest set of ears. They're really at odds with one other.
--Not only did Pontius fear what Caesar would do should there be another uprising, he shuddered at the thought of his lovely wife's nagging. "But Jesus is so cool! C'mon, he's cuuute! No poon for pontius if my man bites it!"
--Jesus was a very skilled carpenter as a scene early on shows him inventing the Ikea neck table, perfect for resting your jaw on and slurping crumbs right off the splintery surface.
Shit, it's late, finish this manana.
--There's simply no way the audience can be expected to buy Jim Caviezel as Jesus. For one thing, he's guilty of having committed one of the worst sins around: He costarred in Angel Eyes with Jennifer Lopez.
--The Roman tag-team torturers looked an awful lot like the Bushwhackers of WWF fame. Oh, and the butcher at my local deli.
--I hear studio executives are planning a Life and Times of the Buddha starring Jackie Chan (Doing his own death-defying stunts, grasshopper!!) and directed by John Woo.
--I don't recall the Shroud of Turin being offered to Jesus by Sofia Coppolla, but who knows. Those darn revisionists.
--Not only did Wilt Chamberlain bed thousands of women, he also helped Jesus carry his cross. Who the hell was that guy? Billy Dee Williams?
--I know the criminals being crucified were dumb, but that one schmuck must have been deaf and dumb and as a result, blind. Who can't hear a crow cackling from two feet away?
--Gibson must hate dark, greasy hair as most of the criminals looked just like Judas and vice versa. Was there some sort of Judas Scumbag Villain Hair Club for Men? And if so, why wasn't Barabbas a member?
--Why does Satan's baby have vericose veins at such a tender age?
--The devil is no match for old school birkenstocks!
--Mary and evil incarnate were the same shade of More Grey Than Humanly Possible! Hmm...
--Judas is taunted by rare shape-shifting children. I swear to you, the local cineplex was filled with these little cretins making faces at every lash. Can't a guy watch some good old fashioned torture without cries and whimpers from the romper room set? What did they expect, Sunday School with Mr. Bill?
--Pontius Pilate has the strangest set of ears. They're really at odds with one other.
--Not only did Pontius fear what Caesar would do should there be another uprising, he shuddered at the thought of his lovely wife's nagging. "But Jesus is so cool! C'mon, he's cuuute! No poon for pontius if my man bites it!"
--Jesus was a very skilled carpenter as a scene early on shows him inventing the Ikea neck table, perfect for resting your jaw on and slurping crumbs right off the splintery surface.
Shit, it's late, finish this manana.
If I'm not mistaken, apple.com offers legal music downloads from a huge selection, which includes the catalogues of almost every major record label. The quality is great and to many, so is the price: $0.99 a song.
A bargain, right? Well, not really. Most new CD releases are now $9.99 and feature at least 10-12 tracks. If you were to select twelve tracks on apple.com, you'd be out 12 beans, plus shipping plus the cost of media to burn your tracks onto.
But hey, you're supporting the artists if you buy from apple.com, right?
Before I riff on the latest development, methinks it's key to remember apple's recent marketing campaign. Believe it was something like 'Think Different'.
Apparently, apple and its ad agency used 8 Mile, the Oscar-winning Eminem track, and never gave the man his due.
Nothing. No credit in the ad, and more importantly, not a red cent.
Oh, so it's okay to steal music when you're advertising an alternative to stealing it on the web?
How smart is it to alienate one of the biggest rappers in the world, one who influences the youth who represent the future of your company?
Here's a new idea for a commercial that blends Pepsi's retarded Super Bowl spot with apple's hypocritical flap with Slim Shady:
"Hi, we're apple. Recently, Eminem sued us for illegally using his 8 Mile song in a commercial. But we just want you to know that we're going to continue to rip off artists in the future in order to sell our online service."
That's definitely Think-ing Different-ly on apple's part.
A bargain, right? Well, not really. Most new CD releases are now $9.99 and feature at least 10-12 tracks. If you were to select twelve tracks on apple.com, you'd be out 12 beans, plus shipping plus the cost of media to burn your tracks onto.
But hey, you're supporting the artists if you buy from apple.com, right?
Before I riff on the latest development, methinks it's key to remember apple's recent marketing campaign. Believe it was something like 'Think Different'.
Apparently, apple and its ad agency used 8 Mile, the Oscar-winning Eminem track, and never gave the man his due.
Nothing. No credit in the ad, and more importantly, not a red cent.
Oh, so it's okay to steal music when you're advertising an alternative to stealing it on the web?
How smart is it to alienate one of the biggest rappers in the world, one who influences the youth who represent the future of your company?
Here's a new idea for a commercial that blends Pepsi's retarded Super Bowl spot with apple's hypocritical flap with Slim Shady:
"Hi, we're apple. Recently, Eminem sued us for illegally using his 8 Mile song in a commercial. But we just want you to know that we're going to continue to rip off artists in the future in order to sell our online service."
That's definitely Think-ing Different-ly on apple's part.
Last night, I spoke about my uncle.
His name is Lincoln.
Everyone calls him Washington.
He is insane.
This is not a joke.
After many laughs, I phoned my mom.
His name IS Washington.
His middle name is Leonardo.
Lincoln is a figment of my imagination.
I still refer to him as Uncle Lincoln Washington.
He will continue to be insane.
Funny, this looks like a strange poem.
That's crazy.
His name is Lincoln.
Everyone calls him Washington.
He is insane.
This is not a joke.
After many laughs, I phoned my mom.
His name IS Washington.
His middle name is Leonardo.
Lincoln is a figment of my imagination.
I still refer to him as Uncle Lincoln Washington.
He will continue to be insane.
Funny, this looks like a strange poem.
That's crazy.
Samuel L. Jackson ne Sam Jackson ne Overexposed Black Guy needs to stop already. Jesus. This 'cat' is in every other commercial on television nowadays. It's either his entire Kangol-ed self or just his voice, but damn he's virtually inescapable.
So he had some pop-culture appeal as Jules in Pulp Fiction. What else? Squat.
Maybe he should spend more time honing his craft, and less time recording voiceovers for the highest bidders. Then again, if all he has left are paycheck performances like the last few, carry on Sammy. With yer bad self!
P.S. The Kangol is over. You're old. You're uncool.
So he had some pop-culture appeal as Jules in Pulp Fiction. What else? Squat.
Maybe he should spend more time honing his craft, and less time recording voiceovers for the highest bidders. Then again, if all he has left are paycheck performances like the last few, carry on Sammy. With yer bad self!
P.S. The Kangol is over. You're old. You're uncool.
Whole week without an entry. Must be some truth to the research they released this morning. Blogs have yet to catch on; something like 3% of Internet users have a semi-regularly updated one. Oh well.
Too much real work last week for me. Hoping I win the jury lottery this week and get a nice 2-3 day vacation from the usual grind.
So Sex & The City came and went. And like sex, men slept on it, while women got overly emotional about the whole affair. I'm definitely glad it's gone. The women have all hit the wall. And frankly, much of it was getting way too hard to believe. (Yes feminists, fashionistas and wannabes, I realize it's a fantasy.)
That people can live in Gotham fabulously seems to have been the point of the show. Look at the shoes, look at the clothes, look at the nightspots, look at the sex -- this show was begging to be looked at. Funny, reminds me of most pretentious city women.
My wife enjoyed it. For me, the best thing about it was the previews for the Sopranos and HBO's new series, Deadwood. (Wasn't that a very bad John Singleton/Ving Rhames/black people/1800's/forest burning vehicle? Woops. Think that was Rosewood.)
Wait, no, I'm not being fair. I must give SJP (as cute entertainment show hosts refer to her by...HA!) and the series' creators credit for having at least some constraint and knowing when to let go. I hope other television producers paid attention to the lesson:
Bow out gracefully before you become X-Files Season 15. And the truth is out there, but no viewers are.
Too much real work last week for me. Hoping I win the jury lottery this week and get a nice 2-3 day vacation from the usual grind.
So Sex & The City came and went. And like sex, men slept on it, while women got overly emotional about the whole affair. I'm definitely glad it's gone. The women have all hit the wall. And frankly, much of it was getting way too hard to believe. (Yes feminists, fashionistas and wannabes, I realize it's a fantasy.)
That people can live in Gotham fabulously seems to have been the point of the show. Look at the shoes, look at the clothes, look at the nightspots, look at the sex -- this show was begging to be looked at. Funny, reminds me of most pretentious city women.
My wife enjoyed it. For me, the best thing about it was the previews for the Sopranos and HBO's new series, Deadwood. (Wasn't that a very bad John Singleton/Ving Rhames/black people/1800's/forest burning vehicle? Woops. Think that was Rosewood.)
Wait, no, I'm not being fair. I must give SJP (as cute entertainment show hosts refer to her by...HA!) and the series' creators credit for having at least some constraint and knowing when to let go. I hope other television producers paid attention to the lesson:
Bow out gracefully before you become X-Files Season 15. And the truth is out there, but no viewers are.
